You Goddamn Coward

Three years have gone past and I still remember you.
I still remember the smell of your cologne, it works as a trigger for flashbacks.
I still remember your smile, very Grinch alike.

I still remember how you made me feel. How you worked your magic and groomed me. Yes, three years have gone by and I still remember.

I still remember how I felt when you threatened, blackmailed, and used me for your own selfish benefits.

I was young, I was naive. I was unexperienced in so many aspects of life and you were a figure of power, someone to look up to, someone who should have never taken advantage of any of us.

Yes, us. Now I know it wasn’t just me. But there is nothing I can do about it. I’ve finally stopped feeling powerless, after three years. I’ve learnt to move on and feel okay. But your cowardice transcends it all.

Yes. You are a coward. A goddamn coward and I believe in karma, which will kiss you one day.

Losing My Religion

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Your Number One.”

US chart – Mariah Carey (okay…)
UK chart – The Clash (more up my street!)

#1 Alternative song on my birthday however… REM’s Losing my Religion. I had no idea that this was a number one at that time, I love this song.

Every whisper
Of every waking hour
I’m choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt, lost and blinded fool, fool
Oh no, I’ve said too much
I set it up

Consider this
Consider this, the hint of the century
Consider this, the slip
That brought me to my knees, failed
What if all these fantasies come
Flailing around
Now I’ve said too much

I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

But that was just a dream
That was just a dream

Let Him Go

Let him go, he’s not worth your precious time.

Everyone has met someone who wasn’t worth their time, whether in a relationship or a friendship basis… I have many times given this advice to friends who seeked my views but not long ago, I kept telling myself the same advice and failing to do anything about it. It took me a while to get rid of him but I finally have. He wasn’t worth my precious time.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Take It From Me.”

Morning Routine

6.00am is part of my daily routine as the time my biological clock wakes me up. I rarely ever use an alarm clock as I know between 6 and 6.30 am I am up and ready to start the day. Very often, I manage to see the clouds moving whilst accommodating the sunshine – it is very often sunny with blue sky at that time in London and it only gets gloomy later on which is deceiving if you get dressed to work thinking about your 6am experiences.

Yes, I love mornings. I love waking up early and if I didn’t have to sleep, I probably wouldn’t as I also love nights. I simply can’t win!!!

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “The Golden Hour.”

Oh Sugar!

I’ve clarified my blog title in more than one occasion now, I have been sugarcoating negative life experiences since I was very young. The only reason behind “Since 91” is nothing more exciting than the year I was born. Sugarcoating is often seen as a very negative act where people can’t face their own realities or require excuses in order to accommodate embellished truths. However, sugarcoating to me is far more than that. It’s a coping mechanism that has enabled me to become the person I am now.

When I was younger, I needed to sugarcoat the lack of support around me with the aim to eventually move on. Yes, to a large extent I was weak. I was unable to face the truth but considering my life circumstances and how far I have come so far, sugarcoating probably saved my life. Those who noticed changes assumed I was going through puberty or some other sort of rebel phase. But it wasn’t just a phase. Everyone has their own struggles and I’ve had my own share of ups and downs, often using sugarcoating has an escape route. I’ve been successfully able to pinpoint many of my weaknesses and I am still working on them. Nonetheless, sugarcoating is still very much part of my life. It seems to be useful in a professional environment as well……

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “All About Me.”

Is ‘Honesty’ Real?

Many say that honesty is the best policy. I wonder how many of those people truly practice what they preach. Saying that I am always honest would make me an hypocrite. Perhaps ‘always’ is the keyword to keep an eye here but honesty as a sole concept is deadSome people argue that it’s not what we say but how we say it, keeping honesty to a high level without harming other parties involved. However, how honest is this approach? Half-truths and continuous embellishments to me are everything but honest. 

Honesty did mean something in the old days, where honour and giving someone their word were also meaningful acts. Nevertheless, in modern society, I believe that honesty is strongly correlated to narcissism and personal convenience. Having social psychology as my main educational background and being especially focused in discourse analysis doesn’t really help in the argument. I enjoy observing people and I pay close attention to things that many would consider mundane. For example, I listen to changes in pitch, the discourse, sighs… anything! As a consequence, I catch people lying very easily. Most importantly to this post, I often witness that unless there is some sort of valuable exchange process, honesty is nothing but a word with a long lost meaning where fake smiles and unrealistic promises prevail.

Do you think honesty is real? Are you always honest?

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Truth or Dare.”